Feats N' Faults, MCU: Spider-Man
Spider-Men and their Amazing Villains
Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults, where we use our Tiered Point System to rank and record our favorite characters based on their achievements and deeds. For a more in depth look on how points are awarded, please check the About page. Below is our Tier System for quick reference. Spoiler Warning!
And we’re back! I had a blast reviewing our first year of data, but it is finally time to get back into the analyzing seat and look at more characters’ Feats N’ Faults. It feels like it has been forever since we’ve calculated the achievements of our favorite characters, so I thought we’d come back with everyone’s favorite web-slinger, Spider-Man!
Now I know there are a ton of Spider-adjacent characters out there. I plan to cover all of them in a future paid post about the entire spider-verse. We will look at everyone from the early animated series to the Japanese Spider-Man. If that sounds interesting to you, please consider becoming a paid subscriber! We currently have a webslinger of a deal for yearly subscriptions! Use that Spidey Sense and act fast!
For this post, we will be looking at just the MCU Spider-Men. We are also covering the villains that showed up during Far From Home. For those playing at home, go ahead and rank Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Lizard, Doctor Octavius, Tinkerer, Shocker, Vulture, and Mysterio from least to greatest. For the heroes, we are ranking Ned, MJ, and Spider-Man (from the MCU), plus Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield’s variant of the character. Let me know in the comments how your lists turned out! Which Spider-Man will stand on top? Who is your favorite?
Let’s Get Started!
Spider-Man Villains:
9th Place, Shocker: 2 FN’F Score (2017) 1 Movie
Kicking off with the villains, we have The Shocker. The Shocker is one of those C-list Spider-Man villains who get much more love in the comics and animated series. When I heard he was showing up in Homecoming I was stoked. While I prefer the goofy yellow-masked design, this more realistic take is a nice first step. The yellow spray paint sleeves give him his iconic color while also giving him the working man vibe. It fits. The poor guy never got much work, though. He only showed up in one movie and could not make a name for himself. He escaped in a van with some tech and destroyed a bus, but in the end, he was beaten by a kid. Oh, did you think I was talking about Spider-Man? I was talking about Ned. That’s right, this tough guy was beaten by a typical high school kid with no powers. It's a pretty embarrassing stat for anyone, let alone a supervillain.
8th Place, The Tinkerer: 7 FN’F Score (2017) 1 Movie
The Tinkerer was in the same movie as Shocker but spent more of his time behind the scenes. He gave intel and logistic support and developed all the crazy tech that the rest of his team used. Goes to show that you do not need to be an action star to score better in FN’F. The Shocker would win one-on-one, but the Tinkerer knew how to play the game. It’s a pretty respectable score for a one-off villain that was never the primary focus of a movie.
7th Place, Lizard: 8 FN’F Score (2012-2021) 2 Movies
The Lizard is the first main antagonist on our list. I don’t think it would surprise anyone to see him below the rest of the villains. He killed a couple of people and was able to regrow his arm, but he was never able to break out of that mold. His master plans never came to fruition, and the feats he earned were generic. The one impressive thing is his discovery of Peter Parker's identity, but in the grand scheme of things, most of the villains discovered that. So even that fairly impressive feat became generic. He should have tried to regrow his FN’F Score instead of his arm.
6th Place, Vulture: 8 FN’F Score (2017) 1 Movie
Move aside, Garfield universe, the MCU is back with one of my favorite Spider-Man villains. Mysterio never landed for me, but I thought their take on Vulture was great. He’s always this weirdly old and scrawny man flying around in the comics. Even there, it looks silly. I never thought that they would be able to make him look cool. I mean, look at this little freak! I’d be terrified to see this flying outside my window.
In the MCU, the Vulture is just trying to get by. Scavenging past fight scenes for advanced technology. It’s a pretty sweet gig until they start to get caught. Spider-Man begins to stretch his fledgling wings by foiling this crew’s plot. This leads to one of my favorite twists. I smell a twist coming a mile away. That’s just how it goes when you’ve seen the volume of material that I have. Yet, when Vulture opened that door to great Peter, I was gobsmacked. I felt just as confused and stressed as Peter, which made the moment perfect. It was a simple introduction scene, but they transformed it into one of the tensest scenes in the entire MCU. He earned a few feats, but that scene will be permanently seared into my mind.
5th Place, Sandman: 15 FN’F Score (2007-2021) 2 Movies
Sandman never asked for his life as a supervillain. He turned to crime when he had no other option. Then the poor guy got trapped in that weird sand machine and got blended up. He never asked for his powers, either! Bad things just kept happening to him. I feel bad, but he is a villain. If not for him the Uncle Ben from Toby Maguire’s universe would still be alive. Being responsible for the birth of Spider-Man is a very impressive feat. He even beat Spider-Man on one occasion. Not too shabby, but he did ruin green-stripped shirts. Not a single person can wear one without me thinking they look like Sandman. What a shame. I look pretty good in green!
4th Place, Electro: 22 FN’F Score (2014-2021) 2 Movies
This was one of the more surprising revelations from this list. I never expected Electro to do this well. He scored a lot more points in the first movie than I remembered. Shutting down the power of NYC was a nice boost, but he just kept hustling. Stealing, killing, and capturing Spider-Man was his bread and butter. Even when he made it to the MCU, he just kept powering up. Before I rewatched Amazing Spider-Man 2, I thought he would be at the bottom of this list. He was just forgettable. I only remembered him because of the bad portrayal of the character. They fixed this in No Way Home, but I never got on board with the glowing blue man. If you are going to make it weird and cheesy anyway, why not just give him his iconic comic-accurate suit? Jamie Foxx would have loved that. It is easy to forget he got his start with sketch comedy. I would love to see him ham it up in a bright green suit, laughing and shooting electricity everywhere. That would be a blast!
3rd Place, Mysterio: 26 FN’F Score (2019) 1 Movie
We made it to our top three, and Mysterio being here might surprise many of you. He only had one movie, but he made the most of it. All of his powers were fake, but that does not matter in the end. Illusions are his specialty, and that’s what makes a good Mysterio. Plus, he didn’t only discover Peter’s identity; he revealed it to the world! Then he framed him for murder. Pretty classy villain act right there. If he can’t beat Spider-Man, let society do it for him. Throw in destroying a village or two, and you will have yourself a quality villain score. He is all smoke and illusion, but his score for sure isn’t.
2nd Place, Doctor Octavius: 28 FN’F Score (2004-2021) 2 Movies
Octavius is my favorite out of all the Spider-Man villains. He starts as a good guy. Just trying to harness the energy of a sun. No evil intentions or impure motives. What ended up becoming his defining feature was just a tool to help him reach this goal. That kind of relatability and downfall makes Doc Ock stand above the rest. However, my favorite part about him is how intimidating those arms are. What makes them so great is that the arms are practical effects. They are being controlled by puppeteers. That’s what makes them feel so real. They move like they have weight to them. The scene in the hospital is pure Sam Raimi. The arms going around killing the doctors with all the close-ups and snap zooms is a thing of beauty.
After Spider-Man restores the chip in his arms, Doc Ock eventually reverts to normal. Putting the good Doctor back in control. It is a nice payoff to a decades-old plot. It is just a shame that when he goes back to his own time, he’s just going to drown in that river again. Oh well, what are you going to do?
1st Place, Green Goblin: 30 FN’F Score (2002-2021) 2 Movies
We finally have our first place, and no one should be surprised. The Green Goblin is Spider-Man’s archrival, after all. We might not have an MCU version yet, but the original will be hard to top. Willem Defoe is one of my favorite actors, and no one will be able to show him up. It’s just his smile and laugh that exemplify the Green Goblin. I have always wanted to see him play the Joker, but unfortunately, this is the closest we will ever get.
Did you know that Green Goblin was originally going to resemble his comic book counterpart? Just like Doc Ock’s arms, Gobby was going to have an animatronic mask. They even did some screen tests with it. Personally, I would have loved to see this in action, but I feel like we would have lost Willem’s performance. In the end, they probably made the right choice. At least the screen test still exists. I find behind-the-scenes effects like this fascinating.
When it comes to FN’F Score, Gobby was on a tear. He found out who Peter was and then went and blew up his aunt’s house! He put a poor old lady in the hospital. If that’s not villain behavior, I don’t know what is. Sure, he kills himself with his own glider, but it was a last desperate act to kill Spider-Man. It was an all-or-nothing gambit that did not pay off. It might be his only fault, but I can respect it.
Spider-Man Heroes:
5th Place, Ned: 1 FN’F Score (2017-2021) 4 Movies
The last of our heroes is Ned. Ned being this low on the list doesn’t surprise me, but his FN’F total does. He did a fair amount for a side character. Able to score 6 Feat points as a regular human in the MCU universe is impressive. It was his faults that drug him down. Like I said, he is just a kid. He is going to make mistakes. There is speculation that he might come back to play Hobgoblin. If that’s true, there is a chance his score might increase. We’ll just have to wait and see.
4th Place, MJ: 3 FN’F Score (2017-2021) 3 Movies
Up next is MJ! I like this version of MJ. The others always felt a bit entitled to me. This version is much more relatable and feels like a kid. She does not get many action scenes, but she uses her mind to deduce and find evidence against Mysterio and that Peter is Spider-Man. She might not have done as much as Ned, but her faults set her apart. She only scored a single fault in three movies. This allowed her to hold on to her FN’F score and beat Ned.
3rd Place, Amazing Spider-Man: 42 FN’F Score (2012-2021) 3 Movies
Ooooo, here we go! We are finally getting to the Spider-Men! In third place, we have Andrew Garfield’s version of the character. I always thought he was too cool to play Peter, but his version of Spider-Man is still my favorite. The amount of humor mixed with his body type screams Spidey. His suit too! I mean look at it. It feels so natural. If Spidey actually existed, this is the kind of suit he’d wear. I love the feel of spandex and the wrinkles on the creases when he moves. The other suits feel too smooth and rigid. This thinner approach fits the character better.
When it comes to Faults, this Spidey scored the least, which is awesome! The only reason he is last out of the three is that he never got his trilogy. The other two have plenty of movies and adventures to draw from, but poor Andrew only got two movies to make a name for himself. He saves NYC, does some science, and protects some children. It just was not enough to beat the next Spider-Man on the list.
2nd Place, Spider-Man “Toby Maguire”: 43 FN’F Score (2002-2021) 4 Movies
Getting into second place by only 1 FN’F Score is Toby Maguire’s version. The fact that these two Spider-Men are so close together is fascinating. This version has an entire Movie where he could have taken more of a lead.
Spider-Man 2002 was the first T-rated movie I had ever seen. My little mind exploded when I saw Spider-Man on the big screen. I had never seen anything like that, and it had cemented my love for comic book movies. That love is still strong today and is the reason I do nerdy things like this Substack. Going back and rewatching this trilogy was a real treat. The third movie does not stand up to the rest, but the first two are still some of the best superhero movies out there. Is it weird seeing grown men act like high schoolers in the first one? Yeah, that is a tad odd, but you get over it.
1st Place, Spider-Man “MCU”: 71 FN’F Score (2016-2021) 6 Movies
Our best Spider-Man of the feed is from the MCU. That two-movie lead really helps. He just had more chances to prove himself. He tied in faults with second place, but his Feats kept him in the lead. And look at what he was able to accomplish. He disarmed Captain America! He took out Falcon and the Winter Soldier during his first appearance. When he showed up, he was gunning for the first-place spot. I mean, he went to space and fought Thanos. None of the others have an experience that even comes close to that. To put his total into perspective, the MCU Spider-Man scored higher than Han Solo from Star Wars and Texas from Red vs Blue.
The MCU gave this version so many more opportunities, and they are not even done yet. Who knows how many movies he will be in? If he gets another trilogy, Spider-Man will have a good shot at being in our top 25 in a couple of years. Congratulations, Spider-Man 1 from the MCU.
Reviews:
Spider-Man 2002 Trilogy: 7.5/10
The first two films are master classes. The original is the perfect example of an origin story. After its success, many films have used it to develop their own formulas. The second is a great way to do a sequel. Upping the stakes and pushing the budget to create some fantastic effects. The practical Doc Ock arms make that movie. Unfortunately, the third movie drops the ball. There is too much in it. There are so many moving parts, none of which have been explored enough. Combine that with the cheesy dialogue and cringe dancing, and you will have yourself a meme fest. Because of the third one, I had to lower my overall rating of the series. The first two are at least 8s, if not higher. That third one is just a bummer.
Amazing Spider-Man: 6.5/10
These movies have some trouble, but there are some bright spots. The suit in Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the best on-screen suit ever made. I like the plot with Emma Stone in the second. There is so much emotion and drama, and you can feel the evolution of that relationship. The second movie might not have been received that well. Primarily because of Electro, but it did deserve a third installment. Garfield was perfect as Spidey, even if he was a bit too cool for school to play Peter. While his movies were a bit darker, I think that could work well for this version of the character. Have a third movie where he is sad and bitter after Gwen’s death. He uses his humor and alter ego to hide behind. Not being Peter and spending his days as Spider-Man until he learns the benefit of living a normal life and realizing there is more to live for and that it is not his fault that he couldn’t save Gwen.
Spider-Man MCU: 7.5/10
The MCU trilogy is the opposite of the original trilogy. It starts out pretty all right. Not the most amazing movies I have ever seen, but pretty good. Then the third installment hits, and it is one of the most fantastic movie experiences I have ever seen. I avoided all spoilers. People speculated that the others were in it, but nothing was confirmed. Then, sitting in the theater, it happened. Portals opened, and in came the original Spider-Men. Everyone was losing their minds. Cheers erupted as I was transformed back into six-year-old me. I don’t think I will ever feel like that again. I don’t know how they landed it, but everything just came together and made every Spider-Man movie feel like it was part of something bigger. It even gave Andrew Garfield some love and made everyone look back a bit more fondly on his variant of the character.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s extra-long feed! It feels nice to be back analyzing characters again. If you enjoyed this post, please tell a friend. I love seeing this community grow and am excited to discuss all your favorite IPs in the comments. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I’ll see you next Thursday for more Feats N’ Faults!
Until Next Time!
NEEDS MORE MILES, Y'ALL.
Fromtheyardtothearthouse.substack.com
Thanks for sharing this with me! I love the scoring system and how it all works. Excited to continue on reading. The system makes it hard to argue but was bummed to see Vulture placed where he was! Like you said, one of the greatest twists! Green Goblin is right where he belongs, on top, because no one can beat DeFoe.