Top Tier, FN'F Year One: Bottom 25
The Bottom of Our Barrel
Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults. Before we get started, I just want to take the pulse of the community one more time. As of this writing, I am currently watching Game of Thrones and calculating their scores. When I finish, I will need to start a new Mega IP. Which of the following IPs has the most interest?
We are deep into our recap month. We have covered the best and even built a pretty impressive team. Now, it is time to look at the other end of the spectrum. Today, we are looking at the bottom 25 of our leaderboard. These characters are not necessarily the worst, but some are just plain unimpressive. The only caveat is that some of the characters from Doctor Who are plagued with missing episodes, and I have not yet finished Arcane season 2. So those scores could improve in the future. We will have to see if they can make it off this list by next year. Here they are, the Bottom 25!
Leaderboard: Bottom 25!
Leaderboard: 25th-21st
25th: Iosef Tarasov - John Wick
24th: Aflac Duck - Ad Mascot
23rd: Proxima Midnight - MCU
22nd: Other Wybie - Coraline
21st: Wybie - Coraline
What is there really to say about most of these guys? Iosef was a little prick who thought he was better than anyone—a spoiled little brat who messed with the wrong guy. In the end, he paid for it. Never put up much of a fight, and his daddy’s men didn’t either. That’s what he gets for killing a puppy.
Aflac Duck is literally just a duck. What were we really expecting here?
Proxima Midnight is a huge disappointment. She was one of Thanos’ generals but could not beat the Avengers. The other generals got a couple of wins under their belts, but she only got one. Not a score firing of her station.
Other Wybie and Wybie did pretty much the same thing. They both helped Coraline and got 1 FN’F score because of it. They really were just copies of each other.
Leaderboard: 20th-16th
20th: Obby - Atlantis
19th: Kamelion - Doctor Who
18th: Heimerdinger - Arcane
17th: Dori - The Hobbit
16th: Colonel Sanders - Ad Mascot
Obby is an adorable little lava pup. Unfortunately, he was in the Atlantis movie, which wasn’t good. I was expecting more from him, but in the end, he was just an accessory.
Kamelion was just way before his time. The man who created him and knew how to control him passed away before they could start filming. This meant they had to kill him off right after introducing him. They made it a plot point, but I still feel bad for the companion that could have been.
Heimerdinger may make his way off this list once we score season 2. Time will tell if he can put that big brain to good use.
Dori is a hobbit who joined Thorin but did not have the battle experience to make a difference. He was loyal and I believe he was also the groups barber. He for sure had the best hair of the team.
Next, we have Colonel Sanders. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this guy just gave people chicken and told em’ to lick their fingers. I doubt he was even a colonel!
Leaderboard: 15th-11th
15th: Cassie - Hocus Pocus
14th: Bowery King - John Wick
13th: Becca - Hocus Pocus
12th: Ambessa - Arcane
11th: Santino D’Antonio - John Wick
Cassie, Becca, and the Bowery King all have something in common. They all have big parts in their movies but come up short in actually doing anything. If they make a third Hocus Pocus, maybe Cassie and Becca can escape this list, but the Bowery King is probably stuck here.
Ambessa is a warrior queen. I know once we finish season 2, she will escape this list. It is just about how high she can climb.
Santino D’Antonio is even worse than Iosef. Iosef at least beat John Wick in the beginning. Santino just assumed he did and left. He's a pretty pathetic villain whose ambitions were higher than his means.
Leaderboard: 10th-6th
10th: Mel - Arcane
9th: Dani - Hocus Pocus
8th: CT - Red vs Blue
7th: Dodo - Doctor Who
6th: Susan - Doctor Who
Again, Mel has the means. Let’s see if she can turn things around in season 2.
We have another character from Hocus Pocus. We are starting a trend. I wonder if the Sanderson Sisters cast a curse on the rest of their cast mates.
Our first and only entry from Red vs Blue puts the worst Freelancer on our list. CT was the first to realize that she was working for an evil organization but could not do anything about it. Her heart was in the right place but was cut down too early.
Dodo and Susan are both early companions of the Doctor. Dodo has missing episodes and Susan just screamed… a lot. Susan deserves to be down here, but if any episodes are found, Dodo might be able to claw her way out.
Leaderboard: Bottom 5!
5th: Adam Mitchell - Doctor Who
-2 FN’F Score (2005) 2 ep.
Adam got a chance to travel in the Tardis, but only for one adventure. In which he decided to bring future tech back in time to become rich and famous. He tried to rewrite all of human history, but the Doctor kicked him to the curb. It is a bit harsh, but I don’t think the Doctor liked him much to start with. The comics explore the idea Adam only makes a single mistake, but he never shows back up in the show. He had his chance, and he blew it. Now he’s stuck with a brain door, the poor guy.
4th: Del Griffith - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
-2 FN’F Score (1987) 1 Movie
Del did not set out to be on this list. However, no matter how helpful he tried to be, he ended up causing problems after problems. I have wanted to score a sitcom for a while, and I think his score is a good barometer of what that might look like. Comedy often comes from failure, and failures also score you faults. Del had a couple of feats, but his faults just outweighed them. In the future, when we score a show like Veep, Everybody Loves Raymond, or King of the Hill, I will be curious to see if they can get impressive scores. Or if they will be a victim of how funny those shows can be.
3rd: The Noid - Ad Mascot
-3 FN’F Score (1986-2021) Various Commercials
The Noid is a mad scientist who decided to dedicate his life to stopping Domino’s from delivering pizza. Why? I have no idea. He just hates the pizza, I guess. He is not even trying to steal it for himself. He wants to destroy, destroy, destroy. In a Looney Tunes Coyote fashion, he is always defeated by his own inventions. Even with all his brains and inventions, I do not think he stopped a single pizza from being delivered.
2nd: Kool-Aid Man - Ad Mascot
-8 FN’F Score (1954-Current) Various Commercials
I hate to see the Kool-Aid Man here. I wish I could have scored him as a villain, then he would have scored so much higher. The problem is he is portrayed as such a good guy. He wants to give kids a refreshing beverage. The commercials he is in are wild! He destroys the sun in one of them, leaving the entire world to freeze and die. He turns a kid flat and destroys public property in almost every commercial. He is insane and is not helping humanity at all. Talk about needing to reevaluate your priorities.
1st: Vislor Turlough - Doctor Who
-125 FN’F Score (1983-1984) 6 Movies, 33 ep.
Anyone who has been reading since the beginning knows my disdain for this character. He is a squirrely little companion who does everything in his power to thwart the Doctor. If he was traveling with the 9th, he would have been kicked out almost immediately. However, the 5th Doctor was a lot more forgiving. He would rather complain and yell at his Tardis team instead of actually doing anything about it. He served the Black Guardian more than the Doctor. He eventually broke free from him, but too many episodes have passed since then. He was always about his self-interest. Worried about his own well-being and what he would gain from his travels. One of the few companions who scored in the negative and, so far, the only character to score in the negative one hundreds. He really is the worst of the worst.
If we look at our draft, we’ll see that Doctor Who also has the most characters in the bottom 25, Followed by Ad Mascots and Disney. I was more surprised at how many John Wick characters ended up down here. Feats N’ Faults did John Wick and Hocus Pocus dirty. Arcane is surprisingly prevalent down here, too. Once we cover season 2, I wonder if all three of them can escape?
Thanks for tuning into another recap feed. Next week, we will be taking another look at all the villains for the Faction of Faults! Who do you think will make the team? Don’t forget to subscribe and tell a friend to stay updated on everything Feats N’ Faults! Let me know in the comments if anyone on this list surprised you or if there is an IP that you want to see. I hope you all have a terrific week. I’ll see you all next Thursday.
Until Next Time!