Feats N' Faults: Poirot
Let's Use Those Little Grey Cells
Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults, where we use our Tiered Point System to rank and record our favorite characters based on their achievements and deeds. For a more in depth look on how points are awarded, please check the About page. Below is our Tier System for quick reference.
It is finally fall everyone! We are officially settling into spoopy season, and we have a fantastic lineup for this month. We are starting our October with something cozy. We can’t just jump right into the scares and frights, right? So, I am honored to start with the coziest of murder mysteries, Agatha Christi’s Hercule Poirot. For anyone unfamiliar we are following a peculiar Belgian detective as he uses his little grey cells to solve murders and foil plots. This is also the longest series I have watched for the few characters there are to track. With all this show time, Poirot should have a pretty respectable score, N’est-ce Pas? That’s enough of all the preamble. Let’s get into it! For those of you playing at home, we are looking at Hercule Poirot, Captain Hasting, Miss Lemon, and Chief Inspector Japp. Rank these characters on how well they scored from least to greatest, and let me know in the comments how you did! This should be a pretty easy one. I want to see a lot of high scores this week!
. Let’s Get Started!
4th Place, Miss Lemon: 4 FN’F Score (1989-2013) 32 ep.
Please, nobody give Miss Lemon a hard time, even if she somehow messed up your bracket. She might not have scored very high, but she is the best secretary any detective could ask for. While she was in 32 episodes, she had never been in them for very long. Mostly sticking behind a desk and taking calls for Poirot, except for one occasion where she actually got to do some detective work. Besides that, her feats are pretty tame. Where she shines is her faults. Not a one to mention. She is absolute perfection in that regard. It's too bad she did not see more fieldwork. I would have loved to see this score get pumped up a little higher.
3rd Place, Captain Hastings: 11 FN’F Score (1989-2013) 43 ep.
This is a pretty big shock for this list. Hastings is Poirot’s Watson. He had the second-highest episode count, and yet he was only able to score 11! It was a big surprise for me while I was scoring these episodes. I kept seeing Japp and Poirot’s scores go higher and higher, and poor Hastings was left with nothing to do. He served more like an everyman and was a little slow on the uptake. While some might say he is the muscle, he really does not do much except be charming and get along with everyone. Always making the wrong predictions and accusing the wrong person. To the point where Poirot even says he inspects the opposite of whatever Hastings says. Always love-struck, and after the women, Hastings let his heart get the better of him. This character trait leads to the few faults that he received during our look into his universe. Thankfully, he eventually gets married, and that seems to be the reason he is taken away from the show for a couple of seasons. Coming back for the final episode to give our two characters a decent farewell. Hastings was a wonderful wall to bounce ideas off of, but when you needed something done, our next character was who you needed to call.
2nd Place, Chief Inspector Japp: 4 FN’F Score (1989-2013) 40 ep.
He might have had three fewer episodes than Hastings, but that did not stop him. Japp used his screen time and his role as chief inspector to scoop up some points. A 32 FN’F Score is respectable. To put it in perspective, that is better than Thorin Oakenshield and Black Panther. He is tied with the likes of War Machine and Doctor Who companion Rory Williams. Not too bad, not bad at all.
That is what I like about Feats N’ Faults. It is not about who is technically stronger or faster. It is about how you use your skills with the time you have and how much change or progress you can actually make in your story. It is not just about screen time, even though that helps. It is about what you do with that time and any “powers” you might have. It means anyone can compete, and we can visualize and compare any and every fandom!
Japp used his office to capture murderers and clean up the crime scene when Poirot was done with it. He is a fantastic character, and he is pretty close to Poirot as my favorite in the series. It was fun watching their very different personalities clash, even when it just came down to their food choices. Both were always full of respect for one another, yet they had very different outlooks on life and investigations. There is just something special about those detectives with mustaches.
1st Place, Hercule Poirot: 124 FN’F Score (1989-2013) 70 ep.
David Suchet was not the first Poirot introduced to me. Yet, in my mind, he is the definitive version of this beloved character. His mannerisms, with just the right amount of pompousness, made him feel real and relatable. Proud enough to know he is the smartest in the room and particular enough to need his eggs the exact same size. Yet, he does not get lost in himself. He understands humanity to an extreme. Using that to find killers, yes, but more importantly, to show sympathy to those harmed by the cruelty of the world. He seeks justice and to help those who need him. He might push smaller cases aside, but that is because he knows he is the greatest detective, and his skills are always needed elsewhere. To his dying breath, he was searching for this justice. While I have mixed feelings about his ending, I respect Poirot. Just like his life, he was a complex character with realistic morals and motives. In the end, he took justice into his own hands, but that is because it was the only way. He struggled with this solution but found it necessary.
No one could fool this man. Many tried. Yet, his record is unblemished. To the point, I wondered why anyone would try to turn him away or say they could handle it. However, I would probably try to keep my distance from Poirot too. Wherever this man went a muurder was soon to follow. It did not matter if he was on vacation, eating lunch, or at a resort to lose weight. Murder always followed in his wake. It kept his little gray cells sharp, and his mustache properly cared for. If you are a criminal and Poirot is around, you have already failed. Case closed.
Poirot was able to do very well in Feats N’ Faults. I wasn’t sure how he would do it. This is the first time tackling a show like this. It was a really slow churn for him point-wise. Most of the episode is just him listening and talking. It is not until the end that he proves a murder or solves a case. So, a lot of his early episodes would take him an hour to just earn a single point! Then, when he started earning faults, it was like taking an entire episode away! Yet about midway, he started earning two or three points an episode and rarely earning a fault. Like Hastings, his good nature is what did him in. Failing to do his duty because he fell in love or just randomly giving a child royal gems! Who does that? That kid didn’t even mean anything to him. He just blatantly stole a part of a necklace and gave it to a child! That’s the fault I cannot get over. Can you believe that? Anyway, a 124 is an amazing score. It's near the top of our leaderboard, for sure. I am hoping he shows up at the end of the year when we have our catchup. To put his score in perspective, he is tied with the God-Damn Hulk! Can you believe that? Tied with a literal hulking monster. The exact opposite of Poirot. The brain and the brawn tied. Now that is a team-up I would like to see! My hat goes off to you, Mon Ami.
Review:
Agatha Christi’s Poirot: 7/10
What a lovely series this is. I know it is filled with death and murder, but it is the coziest thing I have watched in a while. It is predictable in setup, yet it keeps you guessing who has done it. I found myself trying to piece the mysteries together, and by the end, I was doing pretty well in picking up the clues! I bet a rewatch is even more enjoyable because you can notice things you didn’t the first time. It has a great cast and very consistent writing. No stinker of episodes either. All very solid, with a couple of really nice gems tucked away. It is no wonder this character is so beloved and has spanned as many years, actors, and books. For anyone wanting a cozy mystery to cuddle up with this halloween season, I would always recommend Poirot.
Recommendation: Yes, No need to use those little gray cells. Just watch and enjoy!
For anyone looking to jump into Poirot, I would usually recommend three of my favorite episodes. However, I found it too hard to choose, and there are just so many, so I decided to share my top five favorite episodes. In no particular order, check out…
ABC Murders
Yellow Iris
Five Little Pigs
Murder on The Orient Express
The Labours of Hercules
Thanks to everyone who tuned in this week. Don’t forget to let me know in the comments how your brackets looked and what you thought about the scores this week. We will continue our cozy Halloween season next week. Has anyone guessed what we are covering next? Do not forget to Subscribe and share with a friend so you stay up to date with all the Feats N’ Faults goodness! I hope you have a splendiferous week!
. Until Next Time!