Feats N' Faults, The Hobbit: Thorin and Company

So Many Dwarves!

Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults where we use our Tiered Point System to rank and record our favorite characters. If you want a rundown on how points are awarded, please check out the About page. Below is our Tier System for reference.

We have a super exciting feed for you guys this week! Today, we are taking our first journey into the Lord of the Rings franchise. I started with the prequels and used the extended cuts for the scoring. I mean, why would you not? This, however, was probably the hardest FN’F I ever did. Not because it was long or bad. It is because everyone in this movie looks exactly the same from a distance. Short, broad, bearded men running around fighting with quick cuts. It was madness watching through things like the Goblin King scene. I was just pausing, rewinding, and tallying who actually got the kill or did the thing! I need a god damn chart with names on it to tell everyone apart. It was a nightmare. Yet I did it! I truly do hate myself that much. Now that I have all this data, I better share it with all of you! Today, we will look at all the Dwarves from the Hobbit trilogy and Bilbo. We have Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Bifur, Bombur, Ori, Bofur, Dori, Nori, Bilbo, Oin, and Gloin.

I know that there are a ton of characters, and they all sound and look similar. So, if you are having trouble telling them apart, here is the checklist I used to keep them straight. Now, don’t cheat now. Go ahead and rank these guys from least to greatest, and let me know how you did when we get to the bottom.

Let’s Get Started!

In Last Place, we have Dori with just a single FN’F Score. Dori was, for sure, the most well-behaved dwarf. Very polite with the best-kept head of hair of the bunch. The poor fellow just never got enough screen time, and while fighting was being done, he was nowhere to be seen. He was able to take out a couple of goblins, but not much more than that. It is safe to say that he would not have been missed if he left the company. Yet I am sure he is some of you guys’ favorite, and I will hear all about it in the comments.

In 13th Place, we have Nori with a 2 FN’F Score. A little bit better than Dori. Nori did pretty much the same stuff as Dori, but what put him ahead was his feat of fighting Smaug. He saved Thorin from the beast, and that act was enough to push him just slightly ahead.

In 12th Place, we have the youngest of the Dwarves, Ori, with a 3 FN’F Score. He used his youth to take out a couple more villains. I expected him to have a couple more faults because of how green he seems, but he held his own.

In 11th Place, we have the deaf one, Oin, with a 4 FN’F Score. We seem to just be going up one point at a time here. I wonder how long that trend will continue. Oin was able to do about the same as the others. The thing that set him apart was his faults. Instead of the traditional minus two he only received one. Which helped him keep his lead, but only just barely.

In 10th Place is Gimli's father, Gloin, with a 5 FN’F Score. Again, there is not much else to say. A lot of these guys achieved the exact same things. Gloin was just able to knock out a couple more guys. I hope his son does a lot better than his father. If not, that will be a very disappointing score.

In 9th Place, we have Bifur. How did the brain-damaged one make it all the way up to 8th? He has a hammer lodged in his skull, but he does not let that stop him! In fact, he even uses it to take out one of his foes. Talk about using your head!

In 8th Place, we have Fili. This is the first one that truly shocked me. I remember him being pretty prominent in the movies. He also seemed younger and fitter, and I expected a lot more from the next heir to the throne. He was always overshadowed by his counterpart, Kili. We will see how he did later, but Fili always missed his opportunities. He just could not keep his eyes on the prize. Speaking of keeping his eyes out. He also did not see three giant trolls walk into camp and steal a couple of horses. How do you not see, smell, or feel those guys walking around? It's baffling; he deserved that fault for sure.

In 7th Place, tied with Fili, is Bombur. He is one of my favorite dwarves, and I expected him to score higher. Though I do agree with his placement. It feels about right to put him in 7th place. He has some really fun scenes. Especially the one in the barrel, but he is just not the best fighter in the group. If only there were an eating competition in these movies.

In 6th Place, we have my favorite dwarf, Bofur, with a 9 FN’F Score. We finally did not increase by just one point! We went up by two for this one! Bold move Bofur. I would say Bofur is the heart of the group. He’s also the first one to really relate with Bilbo and make him feel like he is part of the company. That hat too. It is the best hat I have ever seen! I would love a hat like that. How does he get the sides to always stay up during a battle?

In 5th Place, we have Balin with a 12 FN’F Score. We are starting to get to the heavy hitters now. Balin definitely carried the wisdom of the bunch. He was also pretty capable when it came to war. Don’t let those silver locks fool ya. There is a lot of fight left in the old lad.

In 4th Place is Kili. Kili was one of the best warriors in the company. He never wanted to back down from a fight. Even through the effects of poison, Kili held his own. He saved the company on multiple occasions and beat some goblins with a ladder! He is very impressive and almost made it to second place. The only thing stopping him was his inability to admit he was not fit to fight. He earned a fault by not listening to his team and alerting the guards because of it. If it had not been for that, he would have been tied for second place.

In 3rd Place, we have Dwalin, with a 20 FN’F Score. It is the first respectable score we have seen so far. There were just too many characters. It kept them from getting enough screen time to score. Despite this, Dwalin was able to hack down multiple foes and save Bilbo a time or two. Proving to the company that he was the true right-hand man of the king.

In 2nd Place, we have our favorite hobbit, Bilbo, with a 23 FN’F Score. I am a tad surprised that he is not in our number one slot. I know he does not fight as much as the others, but he is our main character. Usually, that means they would score the most. He did triumph over the rest of the dwarves but was unable to pull the win out from under his hat. He is the only one in the company to have zero faults. Sure, he was hesitant to join them, but you can not fault the guy for that. Those are just his character developments, not faults. I wish he were higher because he might be my favorite character in all of LOTR. But if Bilbo is in second place, then that means we all know who came in first.

To no one’s surprise, Thorin is in 1st Place with 26 FN’F Score. He might have come in first place, but he still disappointed me. His 10 fault points really kept him from an impressive score. He was constantly putting his pride in front of his team. Getting them captured or imprisoned multiple times because he refused to compromise or listen to someone wiser. Then he got the dragon sickness and tried to kill Bilbo! He was eventually able to overcome this, but not soon enough. He had already rung up too many fault points, which hindered his chances of being on a Top Tier list. Still our winner for the week is Thorin Oakenshield.

Review: The Hobbit Trilogy, 6/10

The Hobbit trilogy is a fun adventure through Middle Earth. It just feels a bit drawn out. Because of this, most of the movies feel watered down and prolonged. This led to one of my favorite theater moments. I remember watching through the desolation of Smaug. We finally reached the climax, and Smaug raced towards the city. Was he going to burn it? How are they going to stop him? Then, the screen fades to black. Melancholy music begins to play as the credits begin to row. A man in the front row stands up, throws his hands into the air, and screams, “Are you serious? Come on!” What a reaction! I could not stop laughing. Combine those feelings with the movies being extended anyway, and it just causes a stretched mess. A mess might be a bit harsh. It is an enjoyable movie, and I love the world it is in. It just does not do as well as the original trilogy in capturing that magic. There are bright spots. I love Martin Freeman’s portrayal of Bilbo. To the point where he might be my favorite character in the entire series.

Recommendation: Yes, but just watch the standard additions for this trilogy.

What did you think about the Hobbit Trilogy? Were you able to rank any of the dwarves in the right order? Did any surprise you? Let me know in the comments below. Also, please do not forget to subscribe and share with a friend! Let’s keep this community growing. All the support is really appreciated and helps keep this feed released consistently. Thank you.

Until Next time!