Feats N' Faults: Home Alone
Keep The Change You Filthy Animal
Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults, where we use our Tiered Point System to rank and record our favorite characters based on their achievements and deeds. For a more in depth look on how points are awarded, please check the About page. Below is our Tier System for quick reference.
Merry Christmas everybody!!! It is Christmas Eve, so you better be good because Santa is coming tomorrow. Before you get all excited and curled up in bed, I have a fun Feats N’ Faults to share with you this week. We are covering the Christmas classic Home Alone. Go ahead and get yourself a nice cup of hot chocolate and a notepad to list from least to greatest how you think these characters did. We are following Kevin McCallister, Marv Murchins, Harry Lime, Old Man Marley, and Pigeon Lady! I’ve been thinking about doing this for Feats N’ Faults since before I started the substack. I was always curious how Kevin would compare to other characters in different franchises. Now, we will finally be able to find out. Let me know how your lists did in the comments, and no cheating! Santa is always watching.
Let's Get Started!
5th Place, Pigeon Lady: 3 FN’F Score (1992) 1 Movie
There are a lot of parallels between these two movies. They are basically the same film beat for beat. Pigeon Lady is an excellent example of this. She is the equivalent of Old Man Marley from the first film. First, Kevin is terrified by her presence, but then she becomes an unlikely ally. It might not be a supernatural movie, but she uses her pigeons to capture the Sticky Bandits, which is pretty magical. Unlike Old Man Marley, we never really get to see if she turns her life around. I want to think that she repaired relations with her friends/family, but I guess we will never know for sure.
4th Place, Old Man Marley: 3 FN’F Score (1990) 1 Movie
Filling the same role as Pigeon Lady is Old Man Marley. The supposed serial killer that turns out to just be a kindly neighbor. He has a nasty scowl and a mean swing, but besides that, he is as gentle as a kitten. He is an emotional anchor of the movie. His reconciling with his family at the end still makes me a little teary. It is a lovely side story that has a great payoff. Plus, just like with Pigeon Lady, Marley is able to capture the Wet Bandits. He just waltzes right in and takes em’ out with his shovel. So simple, so brilliant! Kevin should have tried that when he was booby-trapping the house! Too bad he didn’t know that their weakness’ was shovels and pigeons.
3rd Place, Marv: 12 FN’F Score (1990-1992) 2 Movies
Marv, Marv, Marv, my favorite of the two. I love his facial expressions and his love for gimmicks. Did he tie themselves to a lot of crime scenes? Well, yes, but he was also the one who actually stole the most out of the two. He scored more feats than Harry, but his big mouth got in his way. This led to both of our bandits tying! I think it’s cool that they tied. They are different sides of the same coin. It's the perfect pair that I love to watch every Christmas. Marv sticks it at 12 FN’F Score. You gotta love this goofball.
2nd Place, Harry: 12 FN’F Score (1990-1992) 2 Movies
Harry, Harry, Harry, this job is above you. How did you end up losing to a kid? He seems like he’s got his act together. At least a lot more than Marv does. He plans the steak outs and even breaks out of prison. He’s intelligent and determined, but he always underestimates Kevin. That is his biggest fault. He never actually earned a fault, which kept him in the lead, but he never achieved anything that made him stand out. Escaping prison is probably the most impressive feat, and it was done off-screen. He did score better than Abomination from the MCU and Other Mother from Coraline. So, I guess he does have some bragging rights amongst the villains. They’ll just never let him live down being beaten by a little brat.
1st Place, Kevin: 19 FN’F Score (1990-1992) 2 Movies
Just look at that mischievous little grin. This kid is an absolute genius when it comes to traps. Everyone knows that Kevin set up all those traps in the house. Yet, did you know that he did all of that in less than an hour?? I have watched this film every year and just noticed that detail in this rewatch. When you watch things for Feats N’ Faults, you have to view them through a different lens. Sometimes, you are able to realize little stats like that.
Kevin Just embarrassed those two grown men. Outclassing them in every way. The only thing that I wish this series had was another film with these three. I love the chemistry. I love the charm. It is a Christmas Classic for a reason. In my mind, Kevin could score 10x higher if he just got another movie or TV show. I’d love to see a film where he is grown up, and the Bandits come at him after planning revenge. It would be interesting to see what this character would do if he actually had resources to work with.
Review:
Home Alone: 10/10
I really do think these are perfect movies. The soundtrack is iconic and killer. The acting is superb, which is saying something because we are dealing with kids. Plus, it is genuinely funny. I still crack up at this every year. I was going to score it a 9.5, but then I could not think of a single flaw in the film. Yeah, the second movie is a carbon copy of the first, just in a different location. But why mess with magic? It’s a stellar concept executed to perfection. It is probably my favorite John Hughes movie. Some of that is because of nostalgia. However, what sets it apart is that it holds up and gets even better when you become an adult.
Recommendation: Required viewing every year!
Can’t give a stronger recommendation than that.
Thanks again for everyone tuning in during the busiest time of the year. I appreciate all the support, so do not forget to subscribe and recommend this feed to a friend. That would be the greatest gift you could give me. Next month will be our breakdown month. Tallying and reminiscing about all the characters we tracked this year. Now that we have looked at hundreds of characters, it is time to see who stands above the rest—or ended up at the bottom of the barrel. I look forward to posting this significant milestone for the channel. Thank you again for accompanying me on this journey.
I hope you have the best Christmas yet and a fantastic New Year.
Until Next Time!