Feats N' Faults, GOT: Dornish
I Don't Want To Be Most Of Us
Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults, where our Tiered Point System ranks and records our favorite characters based on their achievements and deeds. Please check the About Page for a more in-depth look at how points are awarded. Our Tier System is below for quick reference. Spoiler Warning!
I have a shocking Feats N’ Faults for everyone this week. We are back in Game of Thrones and analyzing one of the least represented families in the seven realms. We spend most of our time in the north; when we are focused on the south, we usually follow Daenarys. After a while, another family popped up from the land of Dorne. Prince Oberyn, Ellaria Sand, Nymeria Sand, Syrio Forel, Doran Martell, Areo Hotah, Tyene Sand, and Obara Sand are the characters we will be covering. Who do you think will be first? Who will be last? I can almost guarantee you’ll never guess the results this time.
Let’s Get Started!
8th Place, Prince Oberyn: 0 FN’F Score (2014) 7 ep.
Did you all just crap your pants, because I did when I first tallied up the points. That’s right, the most memorable and popular character from this family has a zero FN’F Score. Pedro Pascal nailed this character, but on a rewatch, I was surprised with how little he was in it. I’m still flabbergasted by his score. He stabbed a dude, congrats. He was also about to beat the Mountain, but instead of finishing him off, he turned his back and danced around. He goaded him into getting back up and crushing his skull. I am confident his score would have been impressive if he managed to live longer in the series. The worst part is that a zero score means he will be at the bottom of the ranks with no redemption. Don’t get too cocky. That’s the lesson here.
7th Place, Nymeria Sand: 0 FN’F Score (2015-2017) 8 ep.
Tie-breakers refer to the faults, so Nymeria managed to beat Prince Oberyn even though she accomplished nothing during her tenure. Out of all the sisters, she was the one who did not stab, beat, or kill a single person. However, while she played it safe, she didn’t score a single fault either. It’s a risky way to play, but that strategy kept her from being in last place. I guess that’s something.
6th Place, Doran Martell: 0 FN’F Score (2015-2016) 5 ep.
Would you look at that, another perfect zero. Doran did the exact same as Nymeria. No feats and no faults. He did his best to rule, but his family was his downfall. It seems to always be the closest to you that wants you dead. Unfortunately, Doran was not able to prevent his death and died with only five appearances. A perfect tie like this looks at how many episodes they were in. The least amount breaks a perfect tie, and that is how Doran managed to make it into 6th place.
5th Place, Ellaria Sand: 2 FN’F Score (2014-2017) 13 ep.
There is no shortage of ruthless matriarchs in the Game of Thrones. Ellaria Sand has to be the most blatant. She sends threats to the king’s mother, poisons and kills their daughter, and kills her king! It was this brashness that earned her 2 FN’F Score. Unfortunately, not hiding behind your actions and embracing them puts a target on your back. For all I know, she is still locked up in the rubble of Kings Landing, watching her daughter’s body decompose. I’ll give Cersei one thing: she sure knows how to get revenge.
4th Place, Areo Hotah: 2 FN’F Score (2015-2016) 6 ep.
Woah-Ho, do you even remember this guy? Areo was the King’s Guard to Doran. That’s right, this background character beat all those mainstays. Areo achieved one thing, and that was capturing Jamie and Bronn. In all honesty, that feat is impressive. I almost didn’t track this guy, but I am glad I did. It made for one wild Feats N’ Faults list.
3rd Place, Tyene Sand: 3 FN’F Score (2015-2017) 9 ep.
Oh my god, we have a three-way tie for first! Tyene Sand may be in third place, but if you ask Bronn, she is first in beauty. Since he inflated her ego, she saved him while they were stuck in prison. She’s also the one who put down Areo, the fourth-place participant. When her mother overthrew the kingdom, Tyene had to make an example of him, killing him and the messenger. Now, she is still rotting away in some sealed-off dungeon in Kings Landing. Ellaria is forced to watch as her daughter’s body slowly decays. Now that is what I call torture.
2nd Place, Obara Sand: 3 FN’F Score (2015-2017) 8 ep.
Obara Sand has set the record for the lowest score in a second-place position for Feats N’ Faults. A measly three FN’F Score would typically land you in last place. This family never made a lasting impact on the world, and their efforts would be forgotten after a single generation. Obara scores more than half of her points during the first scene in which she is introduced. Obara later kills her prince, but that is where it ends. Once the Greyjoys attacked, she had no chance. Euron disarmed and killed her with her own spear. Not a dignified way to go. At least she can stand proud of the fact that she stood above the rest of her family.
1st Place, Syrio Forel: 3 FN’F Score (2011) 3 ep.
Syrio Forel only had three episodes. This small amount of screen time broke the tie breaker between him and the rest of the Dornish. While Syrio was not a part of the family, Dorne was the land on which he hailed. He taught Arya how to fight and use her size to her advantage. There were enough muscle-bound fighters in the world. Syrio showed what it meant to use skill. This is the precision that landed him in first place. His score is not much to write home about, but his impact, especially on Arya, was significant.
I told you that you’d never predict this list. The no-names were at the top, and the popular ones were at the bottom. So far, Game of Thrones is a madhouse for points. Some characters score absolutely nothing, while others fight for a position in our Top 50! I wonder which house will stand above the rest. Can anyone beat what the Starks have already proven?
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Until Next Time!