FN'F Reviews: The Beekeeper

John Wanna-Bee

First Thoughts:

Well, I did it. I went and saw the movie that has no one clamoring “The Beekeeper.” It is one of my partner’s and I’s a guilty pleasure to go and see the new Jason Statham movie. You got your Megs, your Mechanics, and now we have The Beekeeper.

The first thing that anyone will notice is that this movie is a John Wick knockoff. I love the John Wick franchise. I think the cinematography and action are top-tier. With the perfect amount of tongue-in-cheek and deep lore to keep you invested. Those movies are a mile a minute and balls-to-the-wall fun. This movie is like the watered-down coke you get from a local diner. Everything that John Wick has is present but faded and done poorly. There are some fun action scenes but this movie never picked a lane. It was trying to be a very serious revenge movie but also a funny action schlock. Because of this, it was neither. It was not good enough to be a great action movie, but it was also not bad enough to be cheering at the screen. It is a shame because either direction would have its merits and make this move 100% better.

The second thing that is extremely apparent is the fact that the screenwriters have either had run-ins with scam calls. The plot revolves around a man getting revenge for a call center scamming an old woman out of her life savings. The writers were transferring their frustration from either being scammed or just tired of waiting on the phone with IT. I have to admit though I love that premise. We are all tired of these call centers. I just wish it would have stuck with that. The plot eventually gets resolved in the first act when we discover a bigger conspiracy. I would have much preferred a movie where he is tracking down the call center and slowly picking these guys off one by one or scamming them back. Like those YouTube videos of people messing with the call centers but in an action movie. If they had just leaned into the camp it would have been a much better movie.

Thirdly it just feels like a paycheck for Jason Statham. He produced and starred in this movie and I am sure made the most out of it. He’s doing his normal schtick and nailing why we love Jason Statham movies. But I doubt we love it in the way he was going for.

The Good:

For me, Jason Statham is exactly how he is in every action movie. All of his characters could be the same person and you would buy it in a second. But that is the charm of these movies, the dumb fun action and quips. For me, it was not the action that had me on the edge of my seat. It was the dialogue! There are so many jokes that do not land and pointless lines that had me falling out of my chair. I think Emmy Raver-Lampman was my favorite character in this movie. Lines like, “I lost my virginity in that barn”, and “Please, just give me a moment!” were the end to every scene. I could not wait to hear what line she had to say before it cut to black. By far my favorite line was when they found his manual in the burning wreckage that was once his car. Could it just say Beekeeping? Of course not, the audience is too stupid for that. They literally pulled out a bright yellow manual, with bees on it, and in big bold letters it said, “Beekeeping for Beekeepers!” Then the character began to repeat the title and say I think this must have been the Beekeeper’s! I lost it. It is jokes like that that should have been scattered throughout this movie. The problem was to them that it was not a joke. That is a vital plot point so the audience knows that this truck was the Beekeepers. Even though we saw him in it and watched it blow up. Perfect line, perfect joke, I wanted more!