FN'F Reviews: Red One

They've Kidnapped Christmas Spirit!

Santa Clause and the Bloated Budget:

Before we get into the review, I just want to point out that this movie had a 250-million-dollar budget. Yeah, 250,000,000, which does not include the marketing. The Rock alone was 50 million of that. It is the most he has ever made from a single movie. I am just going to let that breathe a little. The Rock made more for this Christmas movie than any of the Fast and Furious, Jamaji, or Disney products he has been attached to. Plus, this movie has a higher budget than Deadpool and Wolverine by 50 million dollars! How is that possible? Basically, they had the money to make Deadpool and Wolverine and then paid an extra 50 mil just to throw Dwayne the Rock Johnson on top. Crazy what Hollywood is doing with budgets. If you have that kind of cash, maybe we should start paying the other people who work on these movies what they are worth and not threaten to starve them out when they ask for basic necessities and not have their entire industry replaced with AI: just a thought, Hollywood.

The Nice List:

The biggest takeaway from this film is that movie theaters are back baby! At least they seem to be in my area. I have never seen my theater as packed as it was today. They actually had all four registers manned and lines to the door at all of them. The place was bumpin’. Kids with their families to see Moana 2, groups of guys huddled around their Gladiator 2 novelty cups, and elderly folks buckled in to see J.K Simmons as our new favorite gift-slinging superhero, Santa! Unfortunately, my theater was, in fact, filled with those looking for the senior citizen discount. I thought the woman behind me was going to lose her life when a kernel of popcorn got stuck in her throat. I am not joking; the poor thing was hacking up a lung during the entire intro of the movie. But hey, I am just glad someone was there to cough because I have been worried about my theaters for a while. I have two near me that I like; every time I am there, it’s like a ghost town. I sure hope this business keeps up. Am I a little annoyed that the slushie machine ran out right before I reached the front of the line? Yeah, but hey, I'd rather them stay in business, so I shouldn’t complain too much. But next time, I better get my Pepsi Slushie damn it!