Feats N' Faults, 100 Sub Special: Ad Mascots!

I Suddenly Want To Buy Everything!

Welcome back to Feats N’ Faults where we use our Tiered Point System to rank and record our favorite characters. If you want a rundown on how points are awarded, please check out the About page. Below is our Tier System for reference.

Congratulations, everyone. We did it! We have finally hit 100 subscribers. To celebrate, I have a very interesting Feats N’ Faults to share. Today, we are diving into our favorite Advertising Mascots! Yes, I must hate myself for forcing me to sit and watch every commercial I could find with these guys. Yes, I did spend a month just watching commercials in my downtime. And also, yes, I have multiple commercial jungles rattling through my head as we speak. Now, I couldn’t pick every mascot. So, I narrowed my list down to these 14. They are a mix of different generations and subject matter. I am sure everyone is at least familiar with the characters on this list. I just doubt anyone thought someone would sit down and analyze them. Don’t forget that if any of these guys score high enough, they will appear on any of our Top Tier or Top Team lists. So now is the time for Ronald McDonald, Smokey The Bear, Kool-Aid Man, McGruff, Aflec Duck, Bud Knight, Mr. Peanut, The Burger King, The Noid, Geico Gecko, Colonel Sanders, Energizer Bunny, Mayhem, and The Most Interesting Man In The World to prove themselves. Will they be up with the greats like Iron Man or The Doctor? Or down at the bottom? It is finally time to find out! Also, do not forget to play at home. Go ahead and list these guys from least to greatest, and share your list in the comments. There are some surprises here, so try your best!

. Let’s Get Started!

In Last Place, we have the Kool-Aid Man with a -8 FN’F Score. The Kool-Aid Man has been around for decades, promoting everyone’s favorite summertime surgery drink. He bashes through walls and delivers refreshing Kool-Aid to anyone in need. Yet Kool-Aid Man was a very difficult person to analyze. First, is he the liquid in the container or the container itself? I actually have an answer. It is conclusive that he is the container since there are multiple commercials of him spilling or changing the liquid inside him. So that is one problem solved. The next and veritably the hardest is, what is he? By that, I mean, is he a hero, an anti-hero, a villain, or a monster? How can I classify his actions if I do not know what he represents? I toyed with the idea of him being a monster of kaiju. An unstoppable force that is only in it for himself, but I had to take a step back and look at what his company wanted to portray him as. In the end, I landed on the hero. Since the marketing mostly revolved around him making kids happy, and in the end, that is what a company would want to deliver to prospected buyers. This, however, really hurt his score. Kool-Aid Man might be bringing joy everywhere he goes, but out of context, he also brings destruction. Destroying private property as a gag. He even doomed our entire solar system because some kids thought it was too hot on the beach. The dude has the power to break the sun in an instant. That is horrifying! These faults put together meant that he was never going to be a high scorer. Not even able to break even, Kool-Aid Man is, unfortunately, one of the worst showings we have seen on Feats N’ Faults. Just please, no yell, “Hey, Kool-Aid!” You never know what he might do.

In 13th Place, we have the maniacal scientist and destructor of pizza, The Noid, with a -3 FN’F Score. This mascot was short-lived because of a very unfortunate real-world tragedy that is too sad to get into on this feed. Yet, I was expecting a lot more from him. I could classify him as a villain since he is trying to stop the pizza from being delivered. Being a villain is the easiest way to earn points. Even with this advantage, he wasn’t able to score a single feat. Doomed to fail, just like the coyote from Looney Tunes. He just kept hurting himself, which is why we find him at the bottom of the tier lists.

In 12th Place, we finally have a competitor that is in the positives, Colonel Sanders, with 1 tiny FN’F Score. Do you understand just how many commercials I had to watch to just give this guy one point? It is something that everyone knows! Usually, I do not feel like I am wasting time because I find a fun little nugget or am able to tally points. This guy was a real challenge. Hours of fried chicken jungles and families sitting at tables for nothing! No one even said how he became a Colonel in the commercials so I couldn’t even give him a point for that! I really thought he was going to perform better. His fast-food counterparts definitely did.

In 11th Place is the Crime Dog himself, McGruff, with a 2 FN’F Score. There are a lot of characters on this list that I had high hopes for. Then there are characters like McGruff that I had no idea what to expect. If you are not familiar with this character, you did not grow up during the 80s. He was everywhere and was the face of PSAs about safety and crime. He can break the fourth wall and pause time, but he has never used those powers to stop anything. In fact, he earned some faults because he never utilized them. His biggest feat was saving a little girl from a pedophile. While that is an extremely admirable feat, he just was not able to cut through the competition. He had the potential, but he just lacked the initiative.

In 10th Place, we have the Aflac Duck with a 2 FN’F Score. Yes, the Duck and the Dog are tied. He got ahead because he had one less fault. The duck is always around chaos, and I was expecting him to have more faults and be lower on the list. Yet, he stayed pretty neutral. He saved Puss N’ Boots from the Shrek universe and saved some people in ours. He did just enough to get into our top 10.

Dilly Dilly, everyone. Coming in at 9th Place is the Bud Knight with a 9 FN’F Score. He was not in too many commercials but was able to score in every one of them. He had the power, but he just did not have the screen time. He stopped an entire army and delivered some delicious Bud Light. In some strange twist, he also played for the Baltimore Ravens? What a weird feats list.

In 8th Place, we have the cutest insurance salesman, the Geico Gecko, with an 11 FN’F Score. He is the second smallest on our list, but that never kept him down. He was always there to save you money in 15 minutes or less or even solve a crime. The little gecko did pretty well for what he was given.

In 7th Place, we have the Energizer Bunny. They say he never stops, but he did stop with just a 13 FN’F Score. So far, these mascots have not had a great showing. The Energizer Bunny is starting to turn that around. I wanted some wacky feats when I set out to do this. We finally have some good ones! He saved kids from grenades, powered a city, and even saved Christmas! It's pretty cool for a wind-up toy! Hopefully, those totals will start to go up for the rest of this tier list.

In 6th Place is the biggest disappointment so far. We have Smokey the Bear with a 17 FN’F Score. I know his score should be higher, but surprisingly, he is a case of lost media, just like the first and second Doctor. He had an animated TV show. It was done by TOEI Animation. The same company that animates One Piece today. It is a neat show, but I could only find the first couple of episodes. I couldn’t track down the last half. Because of this, I know his score should be higher, but until I can get my hands on those tapes, we will never know to what extent. From what I saw, I wouldn’t say by much, but you never know with animated shows. Anything can happen! Smokey was my favorite on this list. I was rooting for him the entire time. He just wasn’t able to make the impact in Feats N’ Faults that he was able to in the real world. Keep up the great work Smokey!

In 5th Place with a 21 FN’F Score is Mr. Peanut. Do you guys remember when Mr. Peanut died during the Super Bowl? I do! What a crazy marketing scheme. I do not know how much it paid off, but Mr. Peanut knows his way around. Coming back from the dead, Dancing, driving, going to space, this nut can do it all! Sure, he imprisons his workers from time to time. He is still pretty cool. Especially when he was voiced by Robert Downey Jr. Also, yes, you read that right. He blew up an entire planet! Pretty good way to make up some points.

In 4th Place is The Most Interesting Man In The World, with a 29 FN’F Score. Finally, we are getting to some proper numbers! This man can not be stopped. Zero faults. Zero! He just keeps hitting dingers right out of the park. Living on Mars, reviving things, parallel parking a train! He is a madman, and I absolutely loved watching these commercials. It was just a list of feats, and I had to decide how many points each one was worth. It was a fun time. I do not always like calculating feats from commercials, but when I do, I prefer this guy.

In 3rd Place, we have the mischievous Burger King with a 39 FN’F Score. This kind was around longer than I thought but had a lot fewer commercials than what I was expecting. His biggest feat was in a Simpsons collab, where he got a planetary feat. Besides that, they were pretty run-of-the-mill. He would sneak into a place and steal something or scare a person half to death. This lack of worry toward the public caused him to have two faults. He almost killed a man by trying to push him off a skyscraper. He also turned giant and wrecked a poor woman's living room. He might be sneaking around here in the top 3, but he just couldn’t get past the next one on the list.

In 2nd Place, we have Mayhem! He earned a 41 FN’F Score. This guy was a joy to watch. While some of the others were a slog, he was a highlight. Like TMIMITW, his commercials are short, sweet, and to the point. It is also fun to analyze a villain, which is what he ended up being classified as. Always destroying things and causing… well, mayhem. I am surprised he is this high on the list, but in retrospect, for his commercials, he deserves our number two spot.

We are finally here. In 1st Place, the best-known clown in the world, Ronald Mcdonald, with a 104 FN’F Score. You read that right. None other than Ronald McDonald broke the 100 barrier. Han Solo, The Falcon, and Ant-Man, to name a few, were not able to attain this level. Another thing that is maddening is that this clown will most likely be on our top-tier lists for a long time. Speaking of being stuck with something for a long time, I still can not get the jingle from the 70’s-80’s out of my head. “At Mcdonalds, at Mcdonalds laaaaaand at Mcdonalds, at McDonalds laaaand.” Plus, do you realize how embarrassing it is to know and understand all the lore that comes with a fast food chain? I found myself explaining to my fiancee while we were picking up food the family tree of Grimace and who Early Bird is…. I realized at that moment that this feed had gone too far. I watched multiple straight-to-home VHS tapes and hundreds of commercials! All for the sake of analyzing a fast food chain mascot. It took months to do this one feed, and it really started to drive me a bit nutty by the end, haha! This clown deserves the reward and is a fun end to our journey to 100 subs. I still can’t believe he broke the 100 barrier, just like we did! In the end, I guess that is fitting. Congrats to our community, and congrats to Ronald McFuckin’ Donald.

Thanks again to everyone who is reading this. I really appreciate all the support and can not believe we hit 100 subscribers! I love watching the community grow and would love to see more interactions in the comments. So let me know what IP or franchises you want me to cover on FN’F! It could be just your favorites or someone you think could finally dethrone the Doctor on our leaderboard. I’ll keep checking in, so please let me know. I hope you all enjoyed this wacky feed, and I look forward to seeing what we can come up with for our next FNF subscriber Milestone. If you have any ideas for that, let me know! The crazier, the better. Thanks again, and do not forget to share. I will see you all Thursday and I hope you have a fantastic week!

Until Next Time!